Mark's Random Ramblings

Why It's Ridiculous to Call Somone "Wishy Washy" for Changing Their Mind

2006-01-14T17:00:00.000-08:00

This too, is a topic that has been irking me for many, many years of listening to idiot political commentators on the television and radio.

I think it reached its fervent crescendo with the second term election of President Clinton, but honestly it was out there a lot before his time, and certainly we heard it alot with the 2004 election candidates (Bozo the Chimp and Droopy Face).

Bozo's managers (I often think of them as the same type of managers that professional wrestlers have, in fact GWB could be characterized as a pro-wrestler fairly easily: full of stupid one liners, a ridiculous, you're not sure if he's high or retarded look on his face, his posturing, posing, etc., yeah, he's a great pro wrestler!!! Oh yeah, even better, he's as fake as wrestling is!!) somehow told him that he should harp on Candidate Kerry's voting record, his past comments and opinions on topics that he'd since changed his mind on, etc. with the standard, "You're just a limp-wristed liberal. Always changing your mind!!!" bullshit republican slogan.

Why bullshit? I'm here to tell you.

Look at the title of my blog: Living, thinking, learning!!!

If you're alive, you live, think, learn, grow, mature. You're constantly exposing your mind to new ideas, different cultures, new concepts, new thoughts, new theories, etc. As a result of these experiences you will often acquire new knowledge, new information, new theories, and perhaps a new philosophy, political or otherwise.

If, in the course of this living, thinking, learning, and growing, you happen to come to a different conclusion or opinion on a topic than what you held previously, this IS NOT a limp-wristed changing of the mind as the wind blows, but rather a well-informed, enlightened, reasoned decision. I applaud people who change their mind when facts, circumstances, and reality dictate that such a change occurs.

Think about it, there's a reason that there's a 35 years of age requirement placed on candidates for the presidency. It's so that these individuals have had an opportunity to live, think, learn, grow, and BECOME the kind of educated, experienced individual who can take a country FORWARD into the future, not backward into the past.

To constantly hold the same position, no matter what new information comes about is akin to still believing that the world is flat after it's been 100% categorically proven otherwise. To believe in creationism when there's scientific proof of evolution. To believe that it's okay to kill in the name of money, when every philosophy, religion, and moralistic principle holds otherwise.

Even worse is to be a person who still holds the same opinion as s/he did when they were 15-17 years old. I'm sorry, but if you still have the same opinions, thoughts, and philosophies when you're 45 as you did when you're 17, I EMPHATICALLY do not want YOU as my country's leader anymore than I want my neighbor's 16 year old son or daughter to be the President of the US!!!

Why Flag Burning IS THE ULTIMATE exercise of American Freedom of Speech!!!

2006-01-14T11:20:00.000-08:00

Okay, this one has been bothering me pretty much for going on 6 or more years.

I remember all too explicitly a conversation I had with a loan officer of a small mortgage company while we were on the way to a loan closing with one of his clients. Offhandedly I remarked that I was pretty much sick and tired of all the whining, complaining, bitching and moaning that was emanating from Republican environs relating to the topic of flag burning.

At the time there was a fairly significant current running through the Congress and Senate to propose and pass an Anti-Flag-Burning-Amendment to the US Constitution. Now, first of all, I need to say that ANY amendment to the Constitution is something to be pondered in only the MOST important of all circumstances and not ever something to be tossed about like a football at a tailgate party. So the fact that this was even remotely considered should in and of itself raise alarm bells in the consciousness of just about any TRUE freedom loving American.

Okay, back to the story.

I mentioned to my friend and colleague that I thought this was just utter ridiculousness. That, in my not so humble opinion, if you banned flag burning, you might as well put a Front Page News Bulletin out that says, "Sorry America: Freedom of Speech No Longer Allowed!!!!" because that would be, at its core, the truth behind such an amendment.

He was flabbergasted at my opinion and quite nearly called me a "pinko commie faggot" or something to that effect. I was stunned that he felt so strongly on the matter, and especially in such a 180 degree different manner.

Some background on my friend first. He served in the Army, loved his time there, thought that serving in the military was one of the finest things that any "true American" could do for their country, etc. You know the type of person to whom I refer. The wellspring of his argument was this: The Flag Symbolizes America and the Freedom That Military Personnel Have Fought and Died for Since the Revolutionary War. By allowing someone to burn that symbol, you're essentially saying that all those lives lost didn't and don't stand for or value anything.

Good point, but let me layout for you exactly why he was 100% wrong.

The ability to make a political statement against the government of the United States is the root of the Freedom of Speech. I agree that there is NO STONGER ANTI-GOVERNMENT STATEMENT that can be made than burning the flag that represents that government. It is the ULTIMATE statement of anti-US government thought and feeling.

That's why such an action CANNOT BE BANNED. The ability, the FREEDOM to burn the flag is the FREEDOM that military members have fought and died for since the inception of this country. They didn't die for the flag, they died for FREEDOM.

If you ban flag burning, you've banned FREEDOM and that, my dear Americans, IS anti-American.

Legal Prostitution in Central America: A Good Thing for All Involved

2006-01-14T10:39:00.000-08:00

Opinion: I think that much of my and probably most Western citizens' opinion on this subject have been shaped directly, and to a lesser extent indirectly, by the immense influence that Christianity and Christian churches have had on Western culture.

Our culture tends to view prostitution as something dirty, nasty, downright repulsive and disgusting, in addition to being completely sinful. I'm not sure that any, and certainly not all of those things are true, but could be depending on the background, education, and upbringing of the individuals involved. What has struck me is that where prostitution IS legal, it's not viewed as anything other than a normal business activity. In Panama City, for instance, the proprietor of the hotel in which we stayed has contacts for any number of primarily Colombian call girls and would have hooked me up with one in an instant had I desired this.

He actually was excited to mention the prospect of one or two of these girls to me, particularly the "cousins". Not only was the topic of discussion not dirty, shameful, or weird, it was 100% regular and normal. I will even say that the women who work in the hotel here, such as front desk girls, cleaning women, bartenders, etc. all view the "working girls" with normal human respect, even if they do snicker at some of their behaviors. That's it. No scorn, no shame, no "you're all going to Hell!!!" business, just a little lighthearted "oh my, get a load of her" looks at their clients, etc.

All of this is quite odd to me. I've never been in a place where prostitution was legal, let alone considered to be something normal. As a result I don't know exactly what to think about it. Probably it's just my mind trying to come to grips with a reality that's 100% counter to what I've experienced in the past. All I know is that it's definitely different, and I don't think at all a bad thing.

Background: This topic had been on my mind since we were in the capital of Costa Rica: San Jose. Chris, Isabel, and I decided to look for someplace to eat the first night we'd arrived in San Jose and after unloading the bikes and carrying our bags and things up to the room at the Hemingway Inn we made our way through downtown in search of something good and cheap. That is, by the way, our mantra "bueno y barato". Good and cheap. My favorite combination.

After some looking around, including a stop at the ESPN Sportszone cafe inside one of the casinos downtown, we ended up stopping at a casino restaurant a bit further down the same road. The food was good, the Colombian waiter very enthusiastic, and the price was right. A perfect combination.

As we were sitting there, I noticed a number of younger, prettier girls/women sitting around talking with each other and "giving the eye" to male patrons who walked into the restaurant from the casino. Now, either they're just extremely flirtatious or they're up to something else.

Finishing dinner, Chris & Isabel were tired so they left to go back to the hotel while I stayed to finish my Corona and lime. After they left, my waiter came up to me very quickly and asked, "Buscas chicas?"

As an aside: That might as well be the tag line for every waiter, taxi driver, and general hombre alongside the road the entire rest of the trip from San Jose, Costa Rica to Panama City. Why do I always get this question? I have no idea. Isabel says, "Puede ser que tienes la cara de 'busca chicas'". Yes, maybe I do have the look of someone who's on the lookout for girls, particularly girls for hire. I don't honestly know.

Returning to the story. The waiter asked if I was looking for girls and I replied in my normal smartass way, "Of course, always!" He says, "GREAT!! Well that one there you can have for about $50, that one over there for about $60, and the good looking one in the corner is about $75." Uh, excuse me?

Yes, they were ALL prostitutes. This was more than just a little odd because at least where I've been in the States prostitutes normally dress provocatively, stand on street corners and are not the sort of thing you'd get near with a 10 foot pole and mine's significantly shorter than that!

"Okay, then. Well, uh, no. I'm not interested in that right now, but thanks.", I say to the waiter. I go back to drinking my Corona and in just a couple of minutes up strolls the good looking girl from the corner. Good looking with a BIG ass, which I kind of like. She immediately starts giving me shit about my friends leaving me alone and where am I from and wow my Spanish is good where did I learn it, etc., etc., etc. Yadda, yadda, yadda, after a few minutes I get out of her that she's from Nicaragua, there's no work there, there's a lot of American and European tourists and businessmen (almost exclusively men, it seemed) most of whom have no qualms whatsoever about buying a girl (her phrase, not mine) and what's my problem. Uh, nothing, it's just weird that's all.

Anyway, for the sake of negotiation I tried to figure out what the rock bottom price was on this situation and it turns out she wouldn't go below $60. From $75 to $60 seemed like a good drop, but I was still freaked out from the whole situation and told her I had to leave and headed back to the hotel. A little while later, however, I took a cab out to a section of town where a bunch of discos are all congregated together and guess who's there? Yes, good looking Nicaraguan call-girl and a couple of her friends. We laughed, shot the shit awhile and drank a few beers. Danced a little and generally enjoyed ourselves. She informed me several of the girls in the bars we went to were "working girls". No shit, they didn't look at all the part. Anyone would / could have engaged in conversation with them and moved on down the line without even knowing you were taking a working girl back to their hotel. Again I don't have a single problem with any of this, it's just something to keep in mind as you go to bars, discos, or, as you'll soon learn, hotel lobby sportsbars in San Jose or Panama City.

A couple nights later, Saturday, I was really, really wanting to watch some football games, namely the Florida/Tennessee match up. I knew that one of the nearby hotels we'd walked by claimed it had a "sport bar", so Chris, Isabel, David (another motorcycle traveler we'd met in San Jose), and I all made our way over there. We walked in and immediately Isabel was accosted by the security since she looked too young to come in. Uh, say what? But since she was with gringos and as I'm sure you're aware, all the Gringos are rich, everything was okay. We took a table and I immediately became aware of the "meat rack". A low wall separates the bar area from the casino area and along this wall, as well as strewn about throughout the entire casino, restaurant, and bar, were anywhere from 80-100 girls and every single one of them was working. WOW! David says to me, "Man, I never pay, but if I was going to I would here because these girls are HOT!!!" Yes, yes they were/are. And for the 80 to 100 girls there were only probably 50 or 60 men in the whole place. Seemed like FAR too much supply given the demand, but as I'd later learn, many of these girls live in other areas of Costa Rica and just book themselves a hotel room and a bus ticket and come to San Jose every weekend to work in the lobby bars of the various hotels and casinos.

Chris & Isabel left early again, David left to go meet his little girlfriend from the afternoon's hookup in line at McDonalds, so I was left on my own in the pool of working girls. What's amazing is that I was only approached by 2 or 3 in nearly an hour's worth of time watching football games, which went up to about 11PM. After 11, while I was taking in the College GameDay wrapup on ESPN (it's still weird getting almost every program you'd be interested in watching in the states what seems like a million miles from home in Costa Rica), and the girl next to me at the bar starts talking to me.

"Why are you Gringos so worried about my teeth?", she says. "Say what?", I respond. "Yeah, you gringos always give me a hard time about my teeth", she divulges. "Well.....I don't know, but if I had to guess it's because nice teeth are a big deal to us since we're constantly marketed to that nice teeth mean better health, fresher breath, and those two mean you'll get a nicer girlfriend/spouse", I offer in response. "Oh, okay, well I think you're crazy", she tells me.

She then proceeds to ask me how much I would want to pay for an hour or two of her time. I tell her I'm not looking to buy any time, but thank you. S he then offers $80 as a starting point. I say no. She comes down to $70. I say no. She then angrily says, "Well I NEVER go below $70 so never mind!!!" Yeah, okay, whatever nasty teeth girl. I wasn't interested anyway! Great body, pretty face, bad teeth. I then tell her, "Look, I'm not interested, but seriously don't you think that with all this competition you're just asking too much?" She says no, that she typically gets the over age 60 American/European businessman as her client and they're always willing to pay her price. One time, she said, a guy even paid her $200 for just one hour. I told her I don't pay $200 for anything, anytime, anywhere but that I'm happy she was able to rake in a good amount off that guy. With that she and her friend went back to drinking their Red Bulls with vodka and I was left alone to finish watching the football wrap-up show.

A little while later another girl thought she'd give her sales pitch a tryout with me and she was actually a bit more subtle. "Hi, where you from?", in broken English. "Nebraska, but I'm traveling by motorcycle from the US to Panama, then from there through South America if everything goes well", I respond. She's dumbfounded. "En serio?", (seriously), she asks. "Yes, seriously.", I tell her. "Wow, you're crazy!", she retorts, pretty much in line with the normal response we get from anyone who asks us where we're from and what we're doing in their country or town.

After a bit of conversation, and at least I'm nice enough to buy her a drink at $5 (yikes), she tells me she's a nurse, has 2 kids, is attending the university to get a more advanced nursing degree, and that this pays, by far, more than anything else given the amount of time she has to put into it. She comes over from the coastal town she lives in to San Jose, the capital, every Saturday morning, works Saturday night in either the Hotel Del Rey (where we were) or one of the other casino bars and usually makes enough to pay for her 2 kids' private school tuition, her university tuition, and the groceries from this job, while her nursing work pays the rest and leaves her a little to save. I think the strangest thing about this whole conversation was that she really was just a normal person. Normal aspirations, normal everyday life, normal single mom family situation (any more it's normal), etc. Except she happened to practice the world's oldest profession every Saturday night in the capital city.

I think that probably is the thing I'm most trying to take away from my conversations with these girls. They're humans too, just like the rest of us "normal" people. Hopes, aspirations, dreams, fears, anxieties, etc. They are exactly like you and I. They have a different profession, but I don't think that turns them into animals, or worse, as is often the case in the minds of many. We have a strong tendency to de-humanize prostitutes in mainstream American culture, which unfortunately becomes the culture of the rest of the world as our all-powerful media empires beam the "American Dream Signal" to anyone and everyone with a dollar to spend in their wallet. Dehumanization is a very easy thing to do, especially to those whose culture we don't understand. It happens not just with prostitutes, but also with those from other cultures with which we have little or no experience. You hear it all the time with comments like "porch monkey" (referring to blacks), "rag headed sand nigger" (referring to Arabs or others of middle eastern descent), and those are just two of the more offensive versions. We must, must, must avoid this tendency to place those whose culture or behaviors we don't understand into some box labeled TRASH, which we then throw away either metaphorically (ignore them) or literally (the vast majority of those killed in the world's conflicts are those who've been marginalized by either their own governments or ours, but usually both).

This situation has repeated itself several times in Panama City as well. Usually the taxi drivers will try to take you to one of the "massage bars" here, namely the Miami Bar, Golden Time, Oasis Club, etc. And if you walk around, you will run across "Life Girls" (not Live Girls, but Life Girls, which also apparently has a branch facility in Bogota, Colombia), as well as others. I've not been to any of these places, but the taxi drivers will persistently hound you to take you to them by running through the "menu" with you and telling you, "Oh, and this place has girls between $60 and $120 for 2 hours and they are unbelievable, do this, do that, etc., etc." Nice.

Now, what's my take on all this? Honestly, it's a bit weird and strikes me strangely, but I am 100% of the opinion that it's better to have a legalized prostitution scene, probably like it is in Panama City, than it is to have it be some terrible, black act for which you receive public scorn, embarrassment, etc. The way the police handle the situation in PC is that the girls are allowed to operate more or less clandestinely in massage parlors, strip clubs, etc. and that's all fine and allowed. Once there gets to be too many hanging out on the street, they come along and shoo them away. The primarily Colombian call girls operate freely, take cabs to the hotels to meet their clients, and, at least in our hotel, were not too obvious in the handling of their affairs. They come in the front, call the room, meet the person here in the lobby (from which I did most of my typing since it's the only area that receives a strong wireless signal and is comfortable with big leather seats and as a result I have a front row seat for this stuff), then go upstairs. We never really got the sense or feeling that any of this is odd, dirty, etc. It's just business.

As kind of a funny aside, one night I couldn't sleep so I came down to the lobby and was just doing a little surfing when the night desk girl tells me that I should meet some of her "girlfriends". I ask her which ones are those. She says, "Have you seen Y here in the lobby?" I reply, "Yeah, sure." Well she was one of her "girlfriends", as well as several others who frequented the edifice. She tells me that that's what I need to sleep. I just needed a few good hours with a quality "novia" (girlfriend). Yeah, maybe you're right. Next time I'm in Panama City, I'm probably going to sample the offerings.

And in the end, the world's oldest profession is going to happen no matter how much a government tries to prevent it. It's probably better to just allow it, tax it if you can, and make sure everyone's taking the necessary precautions. In the end the society is freer, a need is being met, and a decent sum of money is being earned by people who otherwise would have a hard time making more than a dollar an hour in a normal job. This is especially true in Nicaragua where the minimum wage was, as of November 2005, $0.70US. Or in Panama where the minimum was only $1.25US.

For no other reason than that I wasn't the least bit ready to be presented with the level of legalized prostitution in Central America, I felt like it deserved a comment. This way at least if you read this, and you're planning on going to Costa Rica or Panama you shouldn't be shocked or surprised.

Culture of Fear & its relationship to American Consumerism - The Twin Pillars of Our Economy - and the primary cause of most of the world's problems

2006-01-14T09:24:00.000-08:00

If you've read my Why I Left the American Nightmare Post, you already know some of my feelings on American Consumerism and the ills it causes to both Americans and the rest of the world. Sadly the competitiveness of our culture is oftentimes predicated on an underlying layer of fear. It is this fear that is at the root of all news reports and, without question, marketing campaigns. It's the fear of being of being killed in a terrorist attack or being out of fashion in clothes, gadgets or other accessories, the fear that your neighbor has straighter, whiter teeth than you, the fear that your car is too old or lacks the newest gadgets and toys, the fear that you might have too much razor stubble (or bad breath, or lousy fashion, or the wrong cologne, or drink the wrong beer) to snag that hot girl, the fear that you're not earning enough, the fear that your friends are vacationing in "hotter", more exotic locales than you, etc., etc., etc.

Irrational fear of irrational things leads to irrational behavior benefiting a certain class of people in a very rational way. Don't buy the fear message!!! By constantly putting the public in a state of fear and distrust, of everything and everyone, it makes them much easier to manipulate. Have we been manipulated? I think so, but you'll of course have to decide for yourself.

Take, for example, the current political administration in both the United States and Great Britain and the absolutely INCREDIBLE (meaning not-credible or un-be-freaking-lieavble) laws (often termed "reforms") that were passed in the wake of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on the United States. We (Americans and Britons) have lost an incredible amount of personal freedoms, all in the name of "national security". How did this come to pass? Well, after the attacks people were understandably scared, concerned, possibly even frightened that another such event could come to pass in their hometown. One guy I know even suggested that he voted to re-elect George W. Jackass because, and I love this, "Well, since he's been around no big huge hi-jacked airplane has landed on MY HOUSE!!!" Yeah, okay there freakshow. Think about what you're saying. While this thought process may seem natural to most people, I think from a statistical standpoint it's as unlikely as your winning the huge Powerball jackpot, as you'll see NOT ONCE, but a few times.

Now I'm not saying that there aren't terrorists out there who hate the United States and all that it stands for (more on that below) and that they're not actively planning another attack or even 50 more attacks on the "homeland" (which bears a disturbing sonic quality to the Nazi Germany term "Vaterland" or "Fatherland"). I'm sure they are. But what do you honestly think are YOUR (you, the reader of this page) odds of being killed in a terrorist attack right now at this very minute?

I'll answer that for you. According to the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention the average American has a 1/88,000 chance of dying in a terrorist attack. Let me do the long division for those of you who don't have calculators handy: 0.000011364. That's pretty damn good odds, if you ask me, and I'll take them every single day and prefer to not give up more and more of my freedoms and not spend BILLIONS AND BILLIONS of more money to reduce that already infinitesimally small chance of dying in a terrorist attack even further. Coincidentally, that 1/88,000 figure is the same odds a normal person has of dating a supermodel. So think about that the next time you hear about how you're likely to die at the hands of Bin Laden's henchmen. Ask yourself, "Okay, what are the odds I'm going to be dating Cindy Crawford, Naomi Campbell, Heidi Klum, et. al. any time soon?" If you think you've got a good shot at that, then you probably have something to worry about from the "bad guys".

Cost benefit, statistical analysis here folks, simple stuff. Spending BILLIONS of dollars to reduce an already ridiculously small chance of dying to an even more ridiculously low chance just doesn't compute! So why have we bought the hype on doing exactly that?

Fear, that's why. Fear that's constantly being "marketed" by those in power. One only needs to read a few select quotes from our "fearless leaders" about how we should be constantly in "fear for our lives" (why should we be in fear and they be fearless? Hmm....) of the POSSIBILITY of another attack to realize that they're just stoking the flames of fear in the emotional fireplaces of the citizenry. Why should we constantly be in a state of fear? We shouldn't. I honestly think we could have NOT overreacted to the terrorist attacks, SAVED billions of dollars by NOT creating the "Fatherland Security Department" and simply taken 10% of those billions to refine and streamline the existing intelligence, law enforcement apparatus and we'd have all been better off. Financially and emotionally.

Better yet, if we'd have taken 10% of the BILLIONS we've now spent on some very suspect improvements to "national security" to improve the then existing intelligence and law enforcement apparatus and another 20% to combat the root causes of terrorism (more on that below), and right now we'd be a LOT better off!!!

Every time the "security" warning level changes, every time you hear about some "suspicious" package, person, or whatever, ask yourself, "How is this 'scare' (that's what it is) helping me? Is it making MY life better? Is it helping me co-exist with my family, friends, neighborhood, community, or society in some over-arching, unbelievably helpful way?" I'd say the answer to that is categorically simple. No. No, the SCARES aren't helping, not one single bit. Here's a great link to a two great articles, one from Time Magazine and one from the Washington Post that both suggest that doing nothing at all might be better than making a bunch of radical changes. Here are a couple of my favorite paragraphs from the Washington Post Article:

What are the odds of dying on our next flight or next trip to a shopping mall? There are more than 40,000 malls in this country, and each is open about 75 hours per week. If a person shopped for two hours each week and terrorists were able to destroy one mall per week, the odds of being at the wrong place at the wrong time would be approximately 1.5 million to 1. If terrorists destroyed one mall each month, the odds would climb to one in 6 million. This assumes the total destruction of the entire mall; if that unlikely event didn't occur, the odds would become even more favorable.

In another hypothetical but horrible scenario, let us assume that each week one commercial aircraft were hijacked and crashed. What are the odds that a person who goes on one trip per month would be in that plane? There are currently about 18,000 commercial flights a day, and if that person's trip has four flights associated with it, the odds against that person's being on a crashed plane are about 135,000 to 1. If there were only one hijacked plane per month, the odds would be about 540,000 to 1.

Now I'm not advocating that we not be vigilant, I'm just trying to stress the fact that you weren't before and aren't now very likely to die in a terrorist attack. This article cites Conde Nast Magazine in suggesting you'd need to fly EVERY DAY for 8,200 YEARS before you'd equal the likelihood of dying in a terrorist attack on an airplane, much less dying in a normal, non-terrorist related airplane crash. You're a 1,000 times more likely to get run down by your stressed out, overworked, hasn't slept a good night's sleep in he can't remember how long fellow motorist than you are to be killed by a terrorist. And even then, the odds of dying in a car accident IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE are only 1/228. Or in an airplane accident 1/5,704. Again, infinitesimally small. Nothing to worry yourself about. Instead try to be a friendlier person to those around you, try to cheer up your husband, or wife, or co-worker, or friend, or whomever. Focus on the positive! Try to remember that there's usually something behind the "menacing" of the public, according to what this Australian journalist has experienced in over 30 years of covering the world.

Yet all we hear about are the "bad guys". How they're beheading people (wow, that was a scary one, wasn't it?), blowing people up, shooting them up, cutting them up. And yes, it's frightening.
But really, ask yourself first, "How many people have been killed like this?" Followed by, "How many people are there in Iraq, the United States, the United Kingdom, etc.?" Then divide A (a very small number) over B a very HUGE number and you'll discover that your odds of dying that way are SLIM INDEED.

Why am I harping on this? You'll see in a minute. But essentially this irrational fear that's been "marketed" to us by the government of the "possibility" of a terrorist attack comes down to just ONE EXAMPLE of how we're constantly put in a state of fear, intentionally and unintentionally, by both our government and the marketers. The government's just taking a page from the marketer's handbook.

Fear makes us feel vulnerable. We don't like feeling vulnerable and will do whatever we can to get back to feeling "safe". That makes us susceptible to messages that THIS OR THAT will help ease your fear and make you safe. Sadly, much of what's supposed to "make you safe" or reduce your feeling of vulnerability are products and services that you never needed in the first place to be safe, much less to be cool, fashionable, hip, trendy, special, sexy, beautiful, different etc., etc., etc. But it's good for business when people are afraid!!!

To reduce our fears we spend money, and big time.

Where does all this lead? It leads to consumer ills of the largest degree. More bankruptcies than at any time in history, massive levels of consumer debt, individuals who have not one, but two or three mortgages on their homes, people with AUTOMOBILE LEASE PAYMENTS of over $600 a month (are you fucking kidding me?), and an assortment of other financial, as well as social, psychological, and emotional problems.

Another key to all of this is, and related to fear, is our natural human tendency toward insecurity. Our constant making of comparisons to see where we stand in relation to those around us. The more the marketers can make you believe that what you have is no good, the deeper the burning desire they can stoke within you to change this situation. Of course changing your situation naturally means buying stuff that you more than likely don't need now and never needed in the first place.

How do I know all this? I was a victim, big-time, of the marketing side of the fear culture. I bought into this line of crap, for a while, hook, line, and sinker. I was sure that no matter what, I could earn enough to buy myself happiness. I used to have a line, "Money may not buy you happiness, but it sure rents a whole lot!" Wow was I wrong!!! By my own accounting, I probably spent close to $500,000 or more over a period of about 8 years. Now a lot of that was borrowed money. But still!!! A half a million dollars. And what do I have to show for it? Jack squat, that's what. Because most of it was spent on consumables.

What a great word. Consumer. From the verb consume. I love the definition of this word. Ignore for a moment the "to purchase" part of the definition and just look at the rest, from www.dictionary.com, it's great (I've added emphasis via bold, underline, and italics):

con·sume
v. con·sumed, con·sum·ing, con·sumes
v. tr.
To take in as food; eat or drink up. See Synonyms at eat.

To expend; use up: engines that consume less fuel; a project that consumed most of my time and energy.
To purchase (goods or services) for direct use or ownership.
To waste; squander. See Synonyms at waste.
To destroy totally; ravage: flames that consumed the house; a body consumed by cancer.
To absorb; engross: consumed with jealousy. See Synonyms at monopolize.

v. intr.
To be destroyed, expended, or wasted.
To purchase economic goods and services: a society that consumes as fast as it produces.

The vast majority of this definition deals with destruction. And, I believe, it's this nature of "consumerism" that's destroying not only American culture (I'm only half joking when I say that we don't in fact have a culture), but the world's other great cultures too.

I used to think that all those protestors at the G8 Summits and other meetings of world leaders against globalization, etc. were just a bunch of crackpots. Some probably are. But more than anything what they're protesting against, really, is the homogenization that a culture of consumerism creates. By turning the rest of the world into good consumers, just like the Americans, we're taking the focus AWAY from other extremely important and defining aspects of the world's cultures, such as native religions, customs, rituals, beliefs, and traditions. By over-emphasizing money and possessions as the only important measure of one's quality of life, we're DIRECTLY and indirectly destroying the value of all those other aspects of human existence.

No wonder there are people rebelling against this so violently. And who better to make the target of this rebellion than the United States as it's the primary progenitor of the mass market consumer culture and, as a result, the homogenization and marginalization of other cultures.

This is not to defend those who resort to violence as a means of solving this problem. The terrorists are choosing the wrong method to publicize and demonstrate their dissatisfaction with the current state of affairs.

But at the same time, I think I understand where they're coming from.

I think the roots of terrorism lie in our culture’s ignoring Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. How can a person for one minute rationally discuss higher level human needs such as philosophy and religion and politics and personal fulfillment when they’re living on less than $1 a day? When it’s them and 18 others in a one room apartment or shanty or shack without air conditioning, without food, without clothes, without power, without clean water, sanitation, without a job, without hope? They can’t, it’s that simple. Our government’s policies only distort this problem further. We’re helping the rich of other countries (India, China, Guatemala), etc. get more so, at the expense of the poor of those places, on the theory that somehow the wealth will “trickle down”. I hope we’re not relying on our own country’s experience to make that assumption because the richest 1% owned 20% of the wealth at one point in the 1980s and that number is now over 38%.

The trickle is definitely not trickling down!!!

Imagine, if you will, how someone living in the Gaza Strip, where over 80% of the population lives below the international poverty line of $1.00 per day (yes ONE United States Dollar per day!!!) (http://www.nationmaster.com/graph-T/eco_pop_bel_pov_lin). How, exactly, is a Palestinian who isn't even earning $1US per day supposed to feel about Americans, in particular, when every single message they receive from the United States screams, "We're RICH, you aren't, and those of you who aren't SUCK!!!" If you think this isn't the message, then take a look at this:

http://www.salary.com/careers/layouthtmls/crel_display_nocat_Ser372_Par546.html

or this

http://www.careerbuilder.com/Custom/MSN/CareerAdvice/ViewArticle.aspx?articleid=623&pf=true

The AVERAGE television dad, not including income earned by the mother character, earns, on average, $175,000 per year while the average Palestinian in the Gaza Strip is earning less than $365 per year!!! Yet everyone is "supposed to be like us". Well how EXACTLY are they going to do that when what they see of us is something that they couldn't ever, ever achieve. Nice message people!

Or better yet, read this quote, taken here (http://www.tvturnoff.org/overwatched.htm), as always I've bolded and italicized what I think are the important parts:

In her new book, The Overspent American (Basic Books), Harvard economist Juliet Schor presents what may be the first research showing that the more TV a person watches the more he or she spends. The lifestyles we see on TV - in the programs as well as the parable-like commercials - inflate our sense of what's normal, Schor argues. Other researchers confirm this upward distortion; heavy viewers overestimate the percentage of the population who are millionaires, belong to a private gym and suffer from dandruff and bladder control problems. Television viewing results in both an upscaling of desire and a distorted sense of the significance of relatively minor problems. That in turn leads people to buy quite a bit more than if they didn't watch. Within her study sample, Schor found that each additional hour of TV watched per week led to an additional $208 of annual spending. Those surveyed watched 11.5 hours of TV per week, enough to cost them more than $2,300 a year in unplanned, likely unneeded, expenditures.

So why does, this matter? Maybe because so many of us feel that our lives and our finances are careening out of control. In one of her surveys, Schor finds that 80 percent of those polled feel they should be saving more, and 40 percent would like a simpler life. Yet while 70, percent described the average American as "very materialistic," only 8 percent felt they were materialistic themselves.

Now, granted, the majority of those television and movie messages aren't directed at Palestinians, or Afghans, or Yemenites, or any other foreign group in particular, since the television shows, movies, and other means of mass-market communication that are being beamed into the homes of the world via satellite are actually meant for, and directed at, those with the most disposable income (or credit), namely Americans, Australians, and Europeans. Americans, too, it seems have a high number of children living in poverty, which makes this all the more worrisome:

http://www.nationmaster.com/graph-T/eco_chi_pov
But with even ramshackle shacks in the Baja peninsula of Mexico having a satellite dish on top, the message is getting through nonetheless.

And it's powerful. If marketing works on Americans, and we are among the most educated people in the world, (see these graphs):

http://www.nationmaster.com/graph-T/edu_sch_lif_exp_tot
http://www.nationmaster.com/graph-T/edu_rea_lit
http://www.nationmaster.com/graph-T/edu_pro_of_20_yea_old_in_ter_edu
http://www.nationmaster.com/graph-T/edu_mat_lit

then why wouldn't it work on those in the rest of the world?

The answer, of course, is that it does. And well. And those who can't afford to play our little game of consumer competition, first get irritated, then resentful, then angry, then incensed, and finally (with a little flame stoking by the religious zealots of the world) get murderous.

I don't think any of this is, or should be, surprising. What is surprising is that we don't see the connection between our lifestyle and terrorism. Most of the "media" has been sold the idea that it's just Islam, or Islamic fanatics with a religious and ideological desire to rule the world (that doesn't correspond with our desire to rule the world), that drive these young men and women (mostly young and mostly men) to kill.

I disagree.

What traveling outside the US has shown me is that we have one view of the United States and our place in the world and the rest of the world has a completely different viewpoint on this subject. Of course the vast majority of Americans think the rest of the world is wrong. Again, I disagree.

What the rest of the world sees from us, and of course this is simplified because I haven't yet turned this into a PhD thesis, is the following:

1) What the institutions of the US want is MONEY!!!, first and foremost because that's the SOLE focus of our existence; leading to
2) our pushing policies that strengthen the "competitive position" (read profits) of our corporations in the world (increasingly through globalization); leading to
3) our desire to strengthen our competitive corporate profit generating position by weakening the position of other nations to compete with us in the same manner; leading to:
4) our utilizing any and all means necessary to achieve this competitive stance, including manipulating the structures of the United Nations, NATO, etc., when it's to our benefit (increases corporate profits); leading to
5) our ignoring those same institutions when it's not to our benefit (doesn't increase American corporate profits); leading to
6) our tag as the world's bully, police force, moral police force, religious police force, and all around general bad guy

If you want a statistic backing up this perception, try this one:

http://www.nationmaster.com/graph-T/eco_eco_aid_don_cap

where it can easily be seen that we're NOWHERE in the top 19 countries for voluntary donations to countries that need the help. Even though we're among the richest:

http://www.nationmaster.com/graph-T/eco_gdp_cap

We give almost NONE away. Nice. In comparison, see Luxembourg, which is #2 among richest nations and #1 in voluntary donations to countries that need help. It's not too incredible that we've not yet seen any terrorist attacks in Luxembourg!

What has been interesting is that, for the most part, I've still been WARMLY welcomed by most people in most of the countries I've visited. For whatever reason, those in other countries are able to separate the policies of a person's government from the people of that country. So while many, if not most, of the citizens of the other countries I've visited don't like our government and its attitude and policies toward the rest of the world, they realize that I'm not personally responsible for this and therefore treat me well. This too is in contrast to how Americans, generally, treat those from the rest of the world. For example, the American government disagrees with France's general opposition to all things American and therefore the French must be bad, uneducated, weak, impressionable, etc. people. Not at all true, they're just not buying our message. Thank god somebody ISN'T listening!!!

Now I may be wrong on all of this, but I don't really think so. If you think I am, please feel free to drop me a line and tell me exactly where I've erred. I am, above all things, a reasonable person, but remember too that these are topics "about which reasonable people can disagree" (to quote one of my favorite former law professors Bob Works).

The United States' far reaching global power was recently compared to other empires of the past (Roman Empire, Mongol Empire, etc.) and I think the comparison is apt. Rather than achieving that position mainly through violence (as the Romans and Mongols), the US has mostly achieved its position of dominance by changing the rules of the game of life. Instead of territory and power as the goal of a kingdom, we followed the English lead and made the goals personal and familial. Unfortunately, rather than making the personal or familial goal happiness or contentedness, we made the goal money and/or material possessions.

Strangely enough, or perhaps not so strangely, the original wording of "Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness", was "Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Property", as originally expounded by John Locke, a famous English philosopher. While property surely is important in providing everyone a place to call their own, a home of their own, does it really rank at the top of important intellectual and philosophical concepts such as Life and Liberty (freedom)? I sincerely do not think so, but that IS the American message. If you don't have STUFF, you don't really matter. Sadly even the Mexicans have a similar phrase in their Spanish (lo que tienes, vales) "you are only worth what you have". Sad, sad, sad...

In one sense this change was drastic because no longer was it necessary to murder, rape, and pillage to acquire territory, and thereby wealth, for someone else (the King), now you were doing it for yourself. In another sense this change was subtle and ingenious, because by making the goal money you could achieve it without having to outright murder, rape, or pillage anyone. We sanitized the game by making the goal money. Now you were pursuing profits, not territory; pitting corporations against corporations and not armies against armies. Although this has not always been the case (see Spanish American War to justify our sugar cane and tobacco interests in Cuba and Latin America, fostering rebellion in Panama to create and later secure a canal and thereby control the world's shipping lanes, backing dictators against regimes who disagree with our positions [e.g. backing Saddam Hussein's Iraq against Iran in the 1980s], and later securing oil [our current invasion of Iraq] to ensure our consumer lifestyle has the fuel it needs to live for at least a little while longer).

Without question America has been successful, if by successful you mean making money. We've always been good at taking advantage of an infrastructure that was designed, at its core, to produce money. Designed and then constantly refined by those who first created it to make it easier for successive generations of their offspring to take advantage of the same system and thereby perpetuate the status quo that they created. The system made people without much in the way of morals, principles, or common decency rich, and that system has now been continuously re-worked BY THESE SAME PEOPLE to keep them there.

Our marketplace provides goods and services to human beings, without doubt. But the emphasis behind the provision of goods and services, I think, has not been how best to provide goods and services to meet the needs of a populace, but rather how to provide those goods and services in a manner that will most effectively fatten the wallets of those who provide those goods and services. Why? Because that's how our economic system has been structured since pretty much the early days of the Industrial Revolution: the days of the robber barons (where most of the wealthy families in the United States got their wealth to begin with, by robbing!).

Now I can't blame these people since it's basic human nature to "look out for number one". But when an entire economic system is geared toward emphasizing this ONE human characteristic, pretty much at the expense of every other aspect of the human condition, that's when there's a problem. We've ignored education in the name of money, we've ignored poverty in the name of money, we've ignored religion in the name of money, we've ignored culture in the name of money, we've ignored learning and advancement in the name of money, and worst of all we currently ignore our friends and even our families all in the pursuit of money.

And the government structure we've created does nothing but perpetuate, and even worsen, the income and wealth disparity. We always crow about our system of "representative democracy" when in reality what we've really got is a system of "representative democracy for the rich". Those with the wealth manipulate the system to their advantage. Political action committees, campaign funds, the tax system, etc. all act to funnel money from the pockets of the rich, through their contacts in government, and right back to the pockets of the rich, in such a fashion that they continuously achieve a disproportionate representation of their wants (more money) in our government. Thus our government has become a "government of the rich people, by the rich people (or their very close friends and associates), and most importantly, FOR the rich people".

Normally this never ending emphasis and focus on money, and money alone, would be viewed as an unseemly thing. But somehow we've all been convinced, again through very subtle messages disseminated by those in control of the channels of communication (the wealthy) that all this is okay. Everything's just fine. Just keep going to work and toiling like a madman at something you probably hate for 14+ hours per day, six days+ per week. Why? Because, of course, YOU too can be successful (proxy word for RICH) just like them. Just work really hard, nose to the grindstone, push, push, push and you'll be RICH too!!! Work from your home and earn $60,000 a month. Buy my "no money down" real estate packet for $100 and I'll show you how to be RICH. Follow the latest "hot job trend" and you too can be RICH. Move to the hottest real estate market, buy a home (with borrowed money), and in 3 years of constant appreciation you too can be RICH. It's all bullshit designed to keep you plugged into the culture of the "consumer Matrix".

That's right, the Matrix. Unlike the characters in the movie, who are human power cells, our sole reason for existence is to BUY THINGS. Be a good consumer. Don't question the system, don't ask "Why am I buying this?" or better yet "Do I really need this?", just go along with it, but above all, keep spending!!! Keep spending because that's the "fuel of the economy", which is just a buzz-phrase for "it's what keeps making my wallet bulge".

Why is this money and possession only focus such a bad thing? For several reasons:

1) By focusing on money as the SOLE measure of life success, we have taken focus away from other, far more important measures; chief among them genuine human happiness, especially as regards genuine human interaction and its concomitant interchange of comfort, companionship, and love. We have instead been taught that others are merely "competitors" in this game, who should be "beaten" at every turn. I think this is absolutely the worst, most destructive aspect of our hyper-competitive consumer oriented culture. Unfortunately it has become the very essence of what it is to be American.

2) This overarching money focus, in turn, has made work the number one activity of modern American life. It no longer is simply one of many important aspects of a relatively complex human existence, but rather it DEFINES us. The first question one either poses or receives from another person is usually, "And...what do you do?" I would like to ask, "Why does this matter?"

3) This focus on work has been exacerbated and reinforced by the 20th century invention of credit on a mass-scale. Now, one can "appear" to be rich (have money), and therefore be winning at our game, through a carefully constructed life-disguise that was unavailable before the relatively modern advent of on-time payments for everything.

4) Payments over time has thus become a WAY OF LIFE for most of the working population, because it's often the ONLY way they can afford to have items they really need. Unfortunately their wants have also been magnified into needs through carefully crafted, cunning marketing messages playing on our competitive natures and our emotional insecurities. As a result of this excessive use of credit, less and less of their earnings truly belong to them, but rather to the banks who have extended this credit.

5) As a direct result of this availability of credit and ease in access, personal debt levels have exploded. Visit this page to see just how bad it's gotten: http://www.pbs.org/fmc/book/9money6.htm

6) This, in turn, has ENSLAVED people to their work because they MUST work in order to make their payments. In essence, by taking advantage of something that was supposed to make our lives better (according to the marketers), we've actually turned ourselves into work slaves. Now we have no choice but to go to work that oftentimes we hate, or careers we chose because we thought it was more "financially prudent" as opposed to pursuing something we truly love, because we're bound to do so by the mountain of debt we've acquired. This has now gotten worse through the passage of new laws to make the filing of personal bankruptcy more difficult (as though the banks were losing money before).

7) Being enslaved to work we hate, in combination with having to work longer and harder than ever before in modern history, has made made many of us angry, dissatisfied, and generally unhappy with our situation in life. There is less and less time to enjoy what life has to offer because we're chained to our office chairs, often via the credit cards in our wallets!

8) Worse yet, we're "guilted" by our "profits first, everything else second" tunnel-vision-goggled managers into thinking that somehow if we reject this conception of life, we're just a bunch of lazy, good for nothing slackers. We're not "team players" and are unwilling to "pull our weight" in our organization's global struggle against "the competition". This business psycho-babble really kills me too, that somehow modern business competition is now a pseudo-religious crusade against the rest of the world. That's really how to make us all feel part of one human race, to treat others like our brothers, to turn them into "the competition"!!

9) All this pressure to compete and long hours at the job, in addition to making us irritable and angry, have contributed to the breakdown of the family unit (who has time to impart to family members, I've got to work, SO I CAN PAY THE NANNY TO RAISE MY CHILD!!!), and personal relations with not only family, but friends and the greater community too. This constant pressure to be better than the next guy has only contributed to existing divisions between the classes, sexes and races, to say nothing of magnifying nationalism and tendencies toward xenophobia. It's a perfect excuse for the rich to justify building segregationist style gated communities and sending their children exclusive rich-kid only schools WITH tax payer dollars!!!! Can you believe this??? Look, if you want to raise your kid in a white-bread, segregationist, hell might as well be apartheid-type environment, isolated from the realities of our multi-cultural society, that's fine, but you're not getting any of my TAX DOLLARS to help you do this!!! FUCK YOU!!! Sorry, but that one really winds me up.

In short (if that's possible for me), this never ending pursuit of the $100 bill, with all of the ills outlined above, is something I don't think any of us should just buy into and follow without first thinking it through. If chasing the dollar really, truly is something that gives you pleasure, above and beyond everything else, then great, go for it. But if you're feeling run down, sick of the never ending 9-5 (which in reality is more like 7am-8pm) rat race just to acquire newer and shinier THINGS, all while you accumulate a collection of good-for-nothings to rival the Imelda Marcos shoe collection, maybe you should just stop. Just stop and take a deep breath. Realize that you don't need to compete with whatever fictional character is the lead on whatever your favorite crime-drama-mystery-comedy television show is, much less the people in your gated community.

I suggest the following, 1) realize that most people are good, interesting, fun, and generally a pleasure to be around, even if they're not from your same socio-economic background, 2) that often you get more out of life by doing little things to help people and often getting back more than you ever thought in the process, 3) that by focusing on positive aspects of people and life, you're realizing that all those negative things you read in the newspaper, on the Internet, or see on your local or national news broadcast aren't the TRUTH of the situation. Bad news sells, good news doesn't. Unfortunately it creates a false perception that somehow the world really is a terrible place where you can't trust anyone and certainly can't let your child walk down the street alone to the store to buy a candy bar or a bottle of soda. The truth, according to me, is that every single day of your life is a gift to be enjoyed, to relish in the splendor of. And it's a lot easier to do that when you're not constantly pushing yourself to meet artificial "consumer goals" imposed on you by a society that's been programmed, by those with the most to gain, that somehow you're just a lazy fuck if you don't work your ass off, but rather take the time to enjoy life.

Once again, they're wrong!!

More craziness in the name of "safety & security"

2006-01-14T09:20:00.000-08:00

It turns out that the British are maybe even sillier than the Americans when it comes to spending money on questionable "security improvements". Now EVERY SINGLE CAR WILL BE TRACKED EVERYWHERE IT GOES in Britain.

Congratulations and welcome to Big Brother you "asleep at the wheel" Brits.

http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/transport/article334686.ece

Why I Left The "American Nightmare"

2006-01-14T08:11:00.000-08:00

Me, in Panama City, Panama (not Florida)

"Why on Earth would you do that?" or "What prompted you to do this?

This is a question that I often got from people in Omaha when I told them of my plans to quit my jobs, sell everything I owned except for what would fit on the motorcycle, and then hit the road for destinations unknown and time unknown. Fact is, we still get it from people we encounter on the road.

Me, Juan Mario, Chris at Puente Centenario, near Panama City, Panama

And it is, indeed, a very good question. Unfortunately it also is not a very easy one to answer. Certainly not in a short, concise, easy quip that can be thrown out on demand.

All I can do is try to explain my own point of view and why I, Mark Brandl, chose to do this trip, in this way, at this point in my life. What strange, crazy, weird path has led me to where I am now... This is that story, such as it is.

Spring 2002 to Winter 2003 (around Christmas) or so...

So, let's start at the beginning. I was born July 7th, 1969 in Robbinsdale, Minnesota......

No seriously, the beginning of how I ended up on this whole crazy motorcycle trip thing.
Spring (April) 2002 to August 2002

In about the Spring of 2002, my wife at the time was about to graduate from college with her degree in Biology and was looking into attending PhD school for microbiology. Nearly all of the schools had fall intakes, meaning that new students began their studies in the Fall, which is pretty much standard university practice here in the United States. For that reason, she had decided to take the GRE that Spring, then get prepared to enter graduate school in the Fall of 2003, which was about 1 1/2 years away, and that was what I mentally prepared myself for as well.

Then the woman she was interning for at the University of Nebraska Medical Center laboratory had a guest come by, the man who had been the former head of the genetic research program at UNMC, Dr. Richard Finnell. Well, my ex-wife was continuing to work on research Dr. Finnell had started there, and so he was interested in speaking to her about the project, what she thought about it, what progress she had made, etc. Shortly thereafter he returned to Houston, TX, where he was/is director of the Texas A&M Institute of Biosciences & Technology.

A little while later, she receives an email from Dr. Finnell detailing their work down in Houston, how nice the facilities are, how large the budget is, etc. So she goes to her boss and asks, "Why is he sending me this?" to which her boss replies, "It's because he's recruiting you to study for your PhD in his lab." Needless to say, this was interesting, and exciting, primarily because he is very well respected in the microbiology/biotechnology research community, and also because Texas A&M's admissions were "rolling", which meant that they took in new students all the time, Spring, Summer, Fall, whenever. As a result, we thought it'd be a good idea to at least go down there so she could meet him, see the facility, and thereby get a good enough feel for the place to decide if it would be a good fit for her or not.

It was.

The program was interesting, facilities were indeed fantastic, Dr. Finnell and his wife were very nice and accommodating, even taking all of us (me, my friend Dave Engler, and Kerry) out to dinner at a nice Mexican restaurant and showing us his condo home with a beautiful view of nearby downtown Houston. We were sold!

As a result of this good trip, she decided that she wanted to study there, and made the necessary preparations: she took the GRE and did well, got her transcripts sent, application turned in, etc., and was accepted to begin study in the Fall. Uh oh, problem for me...

What the hell am I going to do? I was still taking classes at the University of Nebraska, Omaha toward a Master of Science in Management Information Systems. An unfortunate downside to master's level classes are that those credits are not transferable to other universities, should you want to switch. And I had less than a year's worth of classes to finish. Only 3 remained to take before I'd receive my degree. So I was faced with the prospect of throwing away nearly 3 years of classes to move down to Houston in August 2002, or stay in Omaha, NE on my own till those classes were done, getting my degree, and then moving. I hate(d) throwing away invested time and money, so I reluctantly made the decision to stay, with the dogs, in Omaha until I finished my program. At least that was my justification for staying in Omaha while my mind worked on what would be the best course of action for me to pursue in this whole situation.

August 2002 to August 2003

In late August of 2002, Chris and his then girlfriend Melissa, and I moved Kerry down to Houston with the bulk of our possessions. I pretty much kept only a couple of La-Z-Boy chairs, a bedroom set, fridge, TV, microwave, computer, washer/dryer, and a couple of bookshelves, along with a desk and chair to work from. This was, in a very big way, the beginning of the "downsized" lifestyle and a strong precursor of future downsizing to come.

Well wouldn't you know that life never works out quite as well as you'd like, and didn't in this case either. Turns out that only 1 of the 3 classes I needed to finish my master's degree was offered in the fall of 2002, but another was similar, so I tried that. Unfortunately, it was from the Computer Science department, and involved a WHOLE lot of programming, calculus, and other stuff that I'd pretty much forgotten. As a result of dropping that class, I ended up only getting 1 of the 3 classes done in the Fall of '02. Spring came, and unfortunately once again only 1 of the 2 classes I needed were available, so I took it, plus another generic class that I thought I'd enjoy, leaving me with just one left, that wasn't available until the first full summer session, in June of 2003.

Unbelievably, I almost forgot to register for that class, but a good friend of mine from the MIS program, Naveen Sattaru (from India), thought that I might forget and registered himself so that one of the 5 seats in the class would be reserved for me, then he dropped the class so that I could take it. What an unbelievably nice gesture, one that I very much appreciated, and still do!
With the academic side of my life now pretty much sorted, I was left to consider the working side and how to close it down, before moving on to Texas.

I'd been doing "witness loan closings" as pretty much my main source of income since April of 1997. This essentially means that I was the person who brought your mortgage / real estate papers to you or you came to me, and I explained what they all meant, witnessed your signature, then I notarized the papers and returned them to the title agency for filing. For this I received anywhere from $45 to $175 on average, depending mostly on time of day (more for an evening closing on a Friday) and distance (more for a closing 200 miles away, than for one in town). I enjoyed doing this work primarily because it involved me being out of an office, allowed me to drive around and get to know the city real well, and most of all afforded me the opportunity to meet lots and lots of really interesting people, which really was the highlight of the work. That and if the transaction involved people buying a new home, they were usually very excited about it, and I enjoyed being a part of that process.

The other side to my work, the title work, was done by title companies and because I worked so closely with them, I was familiar with that side of the business as well. The title insurance business is essentially a "cash cow" because although the agency is "insuring the state of the title", enough steps are taken to guarantee that title that claims are very, very rarely ever paid out, yet title insurance is required every single time a transaction takes place that COULD affect the title to the property. What does all this mean? Essentially that the title insurance business is a good one to be in, especially in a low interest rate environment with everybody out refinancing their homes, or buying new ones, all at the same time. See the summer of 2003 as a good example of the "boom time" that a title company can enjoy.

I thought I knew enough about that business to be able to start a small title agency of my own, and with my connections to various mortgage lenders, I would have plenty of business to keep myself afloat and allow things to grow slowly.

With that background, in January of 2003, I started looking into what would be required of me to start this type of business and took the required examinations, got licensed and bonded, and started looking into finding an insurance company whose policies I could sell. All of this took several months, essentially till about August 2003 before it was definitively resolved, and the whole time I was never really sure it was something that I was going to pursue because it would mean keeping me in Omaha while my wife was still in Houston, TX and would be for several more years. This was a problem for me, but nothing that I wanted or needed to confront just yet...

First, let me go back to the school and personal side of things...

In January 2003, I also started in earnest on a diet and exercise program that since about May of 2002 had been just an exercise program. Over the next several months that plan worked perfectly, I was in great physical condition, felt sharp as a tack mentally, had tons of energy, and just overall felt great about life. To anyone reading this, I cannot stress strongly enough that you SHOULD by all means combine diet and exercise to get optimal results. Every day I'd hear from people, and still do, "Oh I have no energy, I'm tired all the time, I'm fat, etc., etc." and it's true. Sadly, they can, I can, and you also can change this. You don't have to eat perfectly, I always allowed myself a "treat" in the form of a Blizzard from Dairy Queen once or twice a week, particularly during the hot summer months in Nebraska. It's nice to give yourself a little reward for all the hard work you're doing the rest of the time. The key, for me at least, was a 38-45 minutes of good cardiovascular work on my recumbent, magnetic resistance exercise bike in the mornings every other day, then an hour of weight work every other day, with a liberal sprinkling of exercise the rest of the time, such as walking the dogs at a vigorous pace (4mph or so) in the evenings, yard work such as mowing the lawn, raking, shoveling snow, vacuuming the house, etc. Tally up all the calories you burn doing that stuff and you'd be amazed! Combine it with a lean, lower calorie (not outrageously low, just lower) diet, and "BAM!" The mathematics work (less calories in/more calories out) and you drop the fat. It's not magic, it's math!

Okay, back to the school situation. I finished my Master of Science in Management Information Systems class work in June of 2003, then arranged to take my "comps", or the required comprehensive examination, without a passing grade in which you do NOT receive your diploma. Again, I hate wasting time or money or energy, so I prepared as thoroughly as possible for the comps, all the while trying to finish paperwork for a new business, and continue to do closing work for several different mortgage and title companies.

I passed the comprehensive exam, as I'd hoped, and that meant that in early August 2003, I received my diploma. Yea! One less thing to worry about.

At this point, things were going pretty swimmingly, I had a good amount of business from closings, as well as some "on the side" computer consulting work, so money was good, I was seeing good progress made on the start of my hopefully new business, which had generated interest from others in the title industry who hoped to start their own firm, but who were instead interested in working with me when they found out I was looking into a new business also, and finally I had just completed nearly 4 years of work toward a "master's degree", and best of all was in about the best physical and mental shape of my life, and all this felt pretty damn good. I was content, excited about the future, but yet....not totally happy that all this was going on without my wife of almost 7 years. And worse yet that she wasn't really being consulted in any of these decisions either. I can't say I intentionally left her out of these things; that is to do them intentionally without consulting her, or intentionally to hurt her in any way, but it was more a "path of least resistance" mode of living. Things were just easier if I didn't tell her outright, "Hey, I'm kind of moving down a road toward starting a new business and if it goes as planned we're just going to have to learn to live apart for a few more months/years until you've got your PhD, and have got a job wherever it is you're going to work and we can then finalize all that at that very remote future date."

Really, that was a huge part of the difficulty that was about to ensue, and I realized it at the time, but just continued to move forward with my preparations, primarily because I also knew that it was entirely possible I wouldn't be approved by an insurer, in which case all of those preparations would be for naught, so why go about causing a confrontation over an issue that hadn't yet become an issue.

Now, you could ask me, and would be right in doing so, "Why would you go about planning a life essentially apart from your wife, when this would OBVIOUSLY cause problems between you and her if it came to pass, etc., etc., etc.?" A good question, and again, one that I don't have a really good answer for. All I can say is the following was my rationale to myself at the time:

A) She was involved in a PhD program in Houston, TX, but this was unlikely to be her FINAL place of residence, since nearly all PhD graduates continue on to do some sort of "post graduate" work in another locale, oftentimes for short periods such as 6 months or so, in another city, possibly in the Northeast (Boston, New Jersey, New York) or the West Coast (San Diego, Los Angeles, San Francisco), or some other area. Then, after the post graduate work, PhDs often do this again one or two more times before finally finding permanent employment, again oftentimes in some other, new location. I/we had no idea where she'd end up at the end of the day.

B) This educational / work development process would / could take several years and wouldn't be conducive to my "career development" if I moved to Houston, TX and started a career there, because just as I would be starting up a good head of steam with an organization, or even my own business, she'd be moving onto post graduate studies in one of the aforementioned, non-Texas areas and I'd be forced to drop / suspend my own career to move with her, then move again when she got her "final" post-study job, wherever that might have been.

As a result of those 2 things, I thought, "Shoot, why don't I continue to do what I do best, in a hot market where I've got connections and the ability to do something that could sustain us both, and possibly give me something I could sell when she finishes school and is ready to settle down somewhere, all the while providing a good income for the both of us, paying off debt, building savings, and getting us ready for that new life in a few years time."

Don't know if that was solid reasoning or not, but that was my reasoning at the time. Plus keep in mind that, in general, I tend to follow the stream that flows smoothest, and it was just easier to continue doing what I had been doing than to uproot myself and follow her to Texas and a what was certainly an uncertain future there. Lazy, path of least resistance method of operation, I know, but that's where I was.

August 2003: The bombs drop!!!!

I've got to admit that it's weird detailing all of this personal information, then putting it up where anyone and everyone can view it, but hey, to understand where I am now, you need to understand where I was then...so in that vein, come along with me, my dear reader, as I reveal the inner workings of my life and mind...such as it was / is.

Okay, finally in August, 2003, I've gotten all the business preparations pretty well sorted, got potential employees lined up, a very, very nice and realistic business plan prepared and applications out to a couple of insurers for approval. I've been working out like a madman, "Looking good and feeling good." Still have good income from closings and computer consulting. Things couldn't have been better, really. Then....

Bomb #1

Then, one day, probably the 20th or so of August, 2003, I get a call from my contact "Tom" from one of the insurers (who in the meantime acquired the 2nd) who tells me, "Sorry dude, you've been declined, NO APPEAL AVAILABLE!!!" I'm dumbstruck! Can't speak, am pissed off, very, very angry, sad, and just about every other emotion you can think of. "Why, I don't understand, everything was perfect, there was no indication of this, etc., etc., etc." He agreed and basically told me that they didn't want to take any further risks on start up agencies in and around the Eastern Nebraska market. Especially because I had experienced financial difficulties 2 years earlier when I dropped one of my main mortgage broker clients for engaging in extremely improper / illegal / unethical conduct. I told Tom, "Look I understand their concerns, I really do, but it is UNBELIEVABLE to me that they would punish me for me doing the right thing. I dropped those guys, and lost a lot of income as a result, because they were bad people, essentially conning unsuspecting homeowners out of up to 10% of their hard earned equity in their homes and I just couldn't be a party to that!!! So yes, I lost a major client and because of that income and that made it hard for me to pay some bills on time, but really, I DID THE RIGHT THING!!!" He completely agreed with me, but told me there was no appeal, the decision was made and that was that.

Wow, I think I drank a lot that night, but I honestly don't remember.

Bomb one had been dropped onto my nicely constructed little castle of a life, I had some crumbling walls, but things still didn't seem too bad. At this point, I mentally said, "Fuck it! Absolutely no reason to stay in Omaha now, without the possibility of building a fairly successful business, might as well just go to Texas and try to build something there." I'd just finished school, had already sold a whole pile of possessions to streamline my life and get ready for this possibility anyway, so I might as well follow it through.

I spoke to Kerry, told her about that, and that I was planning on selling the rest of the junk in Omaha over the next month or two, and then heading down. I suddenly felt very calm and content with this turn of events, she seemed excited about them, and all seemed well again.

Bomb #2

I honestly don't remember the date, but it was a Thursday in early September 2003, I think, and I was driving to Hamburg, IA to close a loan for a woman who worked in the hospital there. Driving my nice 2000 Honda Accord (V6, leather, sunroof, good suspension, tires, etc.) the 50 miles or so was a good way to spend the evening, and I was thinking about the few things I had left to do to move to Texas. I was coming to grips with that, felt mentally prepared for it, and felt good about where I was in life again.

The phone rings, it's Kerry. "Hey, what's up?", I ask. "Well, I need to talk to you about something", she says. "Okay, shoot.", I respond.

"Well, I've been thinking that I don't want you to move to Texas, and I don't think we should be married anymore.", or something to that effect, was her statement.

For the second time in less than a month, I'm dumbstruck, pretty much speechless, and my mind is racing. "Really?", I think, "You've got to be fucking kidding me."

I don't even remember what I said, but I remember being fairly calm, reasonable even, because I just wanted to get her off the phone. I needed to think, to absorb this "bombshell".

Now, I can't say I never thought this could happen, because I had. I distinctly remember thinking, about a year prior when we moved her to Houston, "You know, she's never lived on her own before, never been self-reliant to such a high degree before, never been quite so 'free' before, this could all end quite badly." I think I answered myself with an, "I know." and left it at that. And when she had come to visit me at Christmas of 2002 she mentioned that she was enjoying living alone and we even discussed what it would be like to live apart, divorced, etc. how we'd divide things, etc. but had decided it was just speculation and stayed together. But it's one thing to think that something like this COULD happen, and another one altogether to have it happen.

Over the next couple of months it became apparent that her mind was made up, it was over, and there really wasn't a lot that I could do about it. But I kept asking myself, "So now what? What to do with my life now?"

Well, the first thing that happened was a trip to Indianapolis, IN for the United States Grand Prix on 28 September 2003. Kerry's sister worked (still does) at an exotic dealership group in Dallas, TX and had been converted to a Formula 1 fan by her prior boyfriend. She was taking time off from work to go to the USGP and had gotten tickets for Kerry & I. Obviously Kerry wasn't interested in going with me to the race, but I thought, "You know, fuck it, I'm going!" I asked Chris if he wanted to go, since I had the extra ticket, and he basically said the same, "Yeah, sure, fuck it, sounds like fun!" Boy was it ever!!! See photo:

Yes, I took this photo

In Indianapolis I had a GREAT time, the whole environment was intoxicating with visitors from many different countries, different languages being spoken all around me, the weather, the SOUND of F1 cars (V10s ROCK), the smell of burning race fuel, everything. It was better than great! On Saturday night, I think, the day before the race, we all (Chris, Kerry's sister, and I) went downtown to visit a bar that had an "Oktoberfest" patio setup going on. Good food, cheap beer, a real winner. This was the last Grand Prix held in Indianapolis in the month of September, it's since been held in June the last 2 years, so it was a bit cold, but still a lot of fun downtown that night.

At this bar we ran into a guy named Tommy. Tommy also had a profound impact on my life and he probably doesn't even know it. Tommy, it turned out, was an attorney from Scotland. Tommy lived in a 1 bedroom apartment with very little furniture, 1 television, and I'm not sure if he even had a car. Tommy did however spend nearly every free pound he earned traveling all over the world to see "sport". That meant football (soccer) matches in Europe, Formula 1 races all over the globe, tennis matches, etc. He said he worked mainly to fund his traveling and didn't have much time to worry about material possessions. He was alive to have a good time and worked actively at doing so. He was friendly and outgoing, as you'd expect from a solo traveler, and boy could he put a beer down. Better yet, he was anti-Ferrari, the first guy I'd seen with the "No Ferrari" logo t-shirt:

Great guy that Tommy who really got me thinking...about life...

On the way back from Indy, I couldn't stop thinking about Tommy, his way of life, and really decided to try to imitate Tommy's lifestyle. I talked and talked with Chris about what work options existed to allow someone the time to travel like he did, as well as a good enough income to cover traveling expenses. Over 6 hours of conversation (it's a long way from Indy to Omaha) we had some ideas, but nothing that crystallized into anything like a "plan".

That said, I still thought I ought to at least try to see what was out there for work that might accommodate such a lifestyle, all the while continuing to do closings and downsize my "possession inventory".

October, November, December 2003 = I'm at a HUGE life crossroads, so now what?

and....realizing I don't want any more of the "American Nightmare" a.k.a. the "American Culture of Dissatisfaction"

I still didn't really know what to do with my life at this point, but I was glad that I had plenty of work as it kept my mind occupied, my days busy, and allowed me time to think and process what had happened over the last few months and what I was going to do over the successive months.

I re-signed up for http://monster.com, went through the book, "What Color is Your Parachute?", as well as several other career / job / personality inventories, etc., location preference survey, all trying to get a handle on who I am and what would be best for me to do in the future, and where. I also dabbled in online dating, as well as meeting people through more "traditional" means.

Didn't get much personal satisfaction from any of these things. It just felt weird, strange, wrong if you will, to just try to rebuild, as quickly as possible, a "normal American life" again, especially in Omaha, Nebraska.

For me, it turns out, a sales position, or a hospitality industry job, diplomat, or other position was/is probably best given my personality, my desire to travel, and my preference to work with people.

Given that, I started looking into jobs in Las Vegas, NV, as it's the "hospitality capital of the world", interesting, and with a booming economy, as well as other locations. I also looked into mortgage lender related positions in California and Texas, since those are warm states and if I was going to make a major change, I certainly didn't want to live in the frozen northland any longer.

But a turning point slowly started coming the more I interacted with people in mortgage loan closings, the more I saw of the "American Dream" in those people, on television, in commercials, in stories, and overhearing conversations of other people, the more frustrated and irritated I became with this "American Nightmare".

I really, truly felt sick of my American existence and even more like I was at a very important life crossroads. The kind of magical place that you don't encounter but maybe once or twice in a lifetime, certainly one of this magnitude. I was, for all intents and purposes, FREE. I could do whatever, wherever, whenever I wanted. But it wasn't a matter of "Just Do(ing) It"...it was much more about getting it right.

All this made me realize that the last time I was essentially debt free, with the opportunity to go anywhere and do anything, I was 18 and had just graduated from Central High School in Omaha. Not knowing any better at that time, I was just in a hurry to "get to college, get a degree, and get working, so I could get rich, get retired, and get traveling."

But this time I wanted it to be different. So I wasn't in any hurry, I wanted to be thorough, thoughtful, purposeful in my decision making. It was far more important to me to get it done right than to just get it done.

It was with all this as background that on the 22nd of December, 2003 I composed an email to my good friend, Craig Lower, president of Inspired Technology Solutions, who I've known since I was six years old. The important part of it is below:

Warning: Start of Rant on a variety of Random, but related topics.... What I'm really thinking about, and actually started taking steps today to make happen, is to move to Europe, London specifically. I don't know how the hell I'm going to do that, but it's got to happen sooner or later. I've been seriously thinking lately that while I'm physically probably in the condition of a 25 year old, I'm feeling my age in terms of not having gotten much accomplished. I've truly come to the conclusion that I've been happy nearly all my life, regardless of money/income, status (real or perceived), occupation, relationship, etc. I've just never really been too down or up about anything, and that's all fine. But I'm slowly losing out on my opportunity to get my life's "to do list" completed. There's just so many places I want to see, to visit, experience, etc., and I haven't gotten to even 10% of them and I'll be 35 years old in July. That's unacceptable. I want to do things, not own things. If I died without a single possession, that would be fantastic. I don't care if I ever own another house, I don't care if I never get rich, I don't care if I'm ever famous, I don't care if anyone ever votes me "man of the year", I just want to make the rest of my life the best it can be for me. I don't believe in an afterlife, or a future life, or a reincarnated life, so I want to enjoy the moment, every moment, from now till I kick it over. I'm doing my best to make sure that happens a really long time from now by taking good care of myself physically, but you just don't know what tomorrow holds. Now I have to focus on my mental health. All I know is that if I end up 70 years old, sitting here in Omaha, NE, and have never really done anything at all, I'll be freaking homicidal. And at that point, who cares if I have to spend some quality time in prison....just kidding. I'm just sick of the American Dream and all the bullshit that goes along with it. I've seen so many people in closings who are trying so hard to compete with their friends, neighbors, family, whomever to BE something. Whatever that is. They've got a ton of credit card debt, drive fancy cars, and have huge houses on acreages out by Bennington, Gretna, etc. For what exactly? Who are they trying to impress? Why does it matter anyway? It's just all a bunch of bullshit. I went to the Creighton game on Saturday with Dr. Engler and listened to these two girls behind me talk about these people they went to school with, their jobs, their incomes, their friends incomes, and all the perceived or desired "success" and it made me want to vomit. I'm sick of wanting things, or thinking that I want things. I'd like to get back the 5-7 years I've spent since law school pursuing that stupid shit. I spent about 3 hours tonight throwing away more shit, and then another hour driving around to various places and giving more away. I'm de-accumulating.

That really was the day that it all got too much for me and when I decided I just didn't want any part of "The American Nightmare" anymore. I didn't have children, so that wasn't a factor, I no longer had a wife, so that wasn't important, I didn't have much in the way of work anymore, since it had slowed down, so that wasn't important. What was important was that I made a change, and quickly, to the path that my life was on at that point.

It seemed to me that so many people just follow a "recipe" for life, especially white Americans. The recipe is, pretty much as I laid out above: "Graduate High School, get into a good college or university, do well, graduate, get a 'good job' (whatever the hell that means), move along in your career, meet a nice person, get married, buy a house (those last two can be reversed), get some pets (usually dogs) as a trial run in the lead up to children, start having kids, raise them, then repeat the same bullshit recipe for them that you just followed."

I really, really, really had had enough. The more television I saw, the sicker it made me. All blatant, rampant commercialism. The same commercialism I felt so strongly when I visited Las Vegas, where everything's for sale, but just seemingly getting stronger and stronger everywhere, not just in "Sin City". No one DID anything real anymore, it seemed everything was just done for appearance's sake. 100% Form over Substance. "Check me out, aren't I cool/fashionable/sexy/hip/_________ because I wear / have / drive _________?" Again, all bullshit. As soon as someone had an original take on things, or an original style (for example see Jesse James from "Monster Garage") it all became (becomes) a fucking twisted abortion of the original concept through the slick, mass-market commercialism that gets promoted, promoted, and promoted until you're so sick of it you just want to hurl. Think Jesse James's Monster Garage, then Orange County Choppers, now Texas Hardtails now on Speed, in the "custom choppers" vein. Or, for another example, Chris Moneymaker, an amateur, wins the World Series of Poker in 2003, but this time it's on ESPN where millions of jackasses are watching. Jesus, within the span of about 2 months it seems that every single person in the country became a "professional poker player". Say what? Seriously? You are kidding, right? Oh no they're not kidding and right now there are "Texas Hold 'Em" chip and card kits being sold in Wal-Mart and contests being held at every stupid sports bar in the country. Seriously it's just fucking ridiculous! Somebody, somewhere needs to point this out in a louder voice than I can, but I'm at least going to throw my $0.02 in as well.

As a perfect example of the emphasis on form over substance, read this article, which details how consumers in the UK are forgoing better tasting fruits and vegetables because supermarkets won't stock "ugly fruit". Unbelievable!!

http://newsvote.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4326444.stm?dynamic_vote=ON#vote_4326444

Anyway, a little later the same week as my email to Craig, around Christmas or so of 2003, I was headed over to Dr. Engler's house (the father of a friend of mine from Creighton University, who later became a good friend of mine too) for Christmas dinner. Time at the Engler's house is always just a great experience of dinner, socialization, talking about various topics, and general merriment. When I got there, Chris & Melissa had just arrived, and I, off handedly, told them, "You know, I think I'm just going to sell the rest of my shit, do an 'around the world' trip, then try to figure out what the hell I'm going to do with the rest of my life." Chris didn't really, I think, at first understand what I was talking about, but I explained to him that I'd worked with a guy in New York, at Lehman Brothers, whose parents bought him an "around the world" ticket as a university graduation present. In my then present emotional state, that started sounding pretty good to me, since I obviously needed to get the hell out of Nebraska and had absolutely ZERO idea of what I was going to do from there.

Now, if you don't know Chris, and most of you don't, then you don't know that he's probably the single most anal retentive person I know, and boy do I know a few, so that's pretty impressive. I just barely uttered the statement about the RTW trip idea, and the next thing I know he's sending me an email with a link to this page:

http://www.travel-library.com/rtw/html/faq.html

This was, at the time, a very comprehensive guide, to many different ideas/topics/thoughts on around the world travel, that were/are very good. Better yet, it was available for download as a single text file. It was huge when printed, at something like 114 pages of legal size paper, but it was FAR easier to read that way.

I got a lot of that read that night, then boy was the research on.

Shortly afterward I decided to accelerate the liquidation of my inventory of ridiculously stupid shit possessions (which everyone has, but seems to still need to add to), earn as much money as possible in as short a time as possible, then try to get the hell out of Dodge (or in this case Douglas County, Nebraska). To that end, I started, in earnest, my Ebay sales career.

I sold everything, it seemed, that had at one time mattered (a LOT) to me. Nice, quality SONY televisions, cherry hardwood bedroom furniture, the single greatest mattress I'd ever owned, my $4,200 WATER SOFTENER for Chrissakes!!!!, dining room tables (yes, more than 1), beds, dressers, and bookshelves, DirecTV receivers, computers (at one time I had 4 in my house including 2 servers!!), computer and networking equipment, my Johnston & Murphy shoe collection, etc., etc., etc. It was ridiculous, but the more I sold, the better I felt. The less possessions I had, the less shit I had to worry about, which in turn made life easier. It's amazing how good you feel when you're not worried about "protecting" your stuff.

Think about all those people you know, maybe you're one of them, who has a room in their house full of stuff that NO ONE USES, and NO ONE CAN TOUCH, but for some reason still exists and is still "important" to them. I call them the "museum rooms". Often filled with "collectibles" aka "stupid little figurines that only 400 people out of a population of 300 million in the US actually gives a shit about!" A conversation with one of those people about the room usually goes like this:

Me: "WOW, can I go in there? Just to take a look around?"
Them: "Sure sweetie, just take off your shoes, stay on the marked path, and for god sakes DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!"
Me: "Uh, never mind."

I returned to doing mortgage loans for a living, which paid a little better per transaction, but had far more work involved than just doing the closings, and I paid off what little debt I still had, except for student loans and my car loan. Amazing how fast your money adds up when you're not blowing it on every stupid little thing you see in the mall, Compusa, or in the case of Omaha, the Nebraska Furniture Mart.

What seemed most strange to me, as I de-accumulated, was that all of this really was counter to American culture. American culture, as it stands, is primarily about competition. We love to compete, in everything. Better yet, we love keeping score, and there's no better or easier way to tell the score of life than by looking at someone's bank account. Since this is obviously difficult, you typically use a proxy for their bank account, and that's usually 1) their car, and/or 2) their house with all its furnishings. The message was (shit: IS) "live large", or as Chris told me his former stockbroker co-workers at Morgan Stanley used to say, "Fake it till you make it!", meaning live like you're rich (i.e. via credit), until you actually are. My favorite so far has to be the title to a 50cent album, "Get Rich or Die Trying!" Yes people, this is what America has become. A win at all costs approach to the American Dream game called "The Pointless Acquisition of Stupid Shit, fueled by credit". Sadly, we're not alone, the Brits have joined us!!!
For more go here. And here. And here. And here. Here's someone trying to put a positive spin on it.

My favorite is how a lot of people I knew incorporated a person's perceived wealth into the discussion when describing that person's intelligence, as though somehow their being rich is the equivalent to their being smart. They usually say something along the lines of, "Well he lives in an 8,000 square foot house in X neighborhood and drives a new Porsche, so (obviously) they're a genius!" To which I reply, "Oh really?" How about their being rich probably being a better proxy for a person's greediness rather than their intelligence? With the recent spectacular robberies perpetrated by white collar corporate America, I'd say that's a more accurate observation. (See Enron, Adelphia, Tyco, WorldCom, et al. as examples)

Now many people have told me I exaggerate how bad this situation is, that not everyone operates this way, that I happened to be acquainted with a group of people who were probably more oriented in this way than most Americans, and maybe that's all true, I don't honestly know. It is a very small statistical sample, but I think anecdotal evidence I've accumulated over 35 years in this culture is pretty overwhelming. Just the other day, I saw an Oprah show where an obviously beautiful young woman had had 26 different plastic surgeries to try to be "more beautiful". Seriously? What the hell is wrong with us? Oprah said, and rightfully so, "This is an indication of where we are people, as a society." You can't be too beautiful, or too rich, and certainly you can't be satisfied!

Now at this point, I don't think Chris was quite on board with me, in terms of where I was mentally in this whole situation, but he was also very, very unsatisfied with his life, the existence he'd crafted for himself. He too was seeing how ridiculous it all was/is and was also pretty well sick of it all too.

Then, he made a post on a bulletin board somewhere about what we were thinking, in terms of a round the world trip and some of our observations on America and how absolutely, stupidly ridiculous it had all become, when a guy responds with this: "You guys really need to read Affluenza!" What the hell is that, we wondered? Well, it's a book, and yes, it's a must read. It essentially details how we're making ourselves ill with all the rampant consumerism of modern-day America. How we now work more hours on average than ever before, but never "have the time" or better yet TAKE THE TIME to spend with our kids, our wives, our family, our friends, or anyone else that matters because we're so busy working so we can acquire MORE useless shit that we just don't need so we can compete with people we don't like in a competition that can't be won anyway because there's always something newer, better, fancier, faster, with more features and better resolution, that'll make you more alluring and more attractive to the opposite sex, that'll keep you up longer, have more energy, lose weight, etc., etc., etc.

Better yet, the book details the fairly high toll that all this takes not only on our bodies and minds, but on the environment too, as our consumer world has become "throw away". Take as an example a printer for your computer. We used to repair those when they broke down. Now they're so cheap we just throw them away and buy new ones. Gotta love the benefits of modern manufacturing and cost cutting methods. We can just continue to engorge our landfills at a record pace, all the while releasing TONS of toxins into the ground, water, and air!!! Yeah baby! Makes me proud to be an American! (Sarcasm very much intended!) It's no wonder we're so hated around the globe, just look at what we promote as a way of life. Don't ever build anything of quality, don't repair or reinvest in anything, just use everything up, toss it in the trash, and get another one!!! But ABOVE ALL be a good consumer. Be sure to go out to the mall and buy new clothes to replace ones that are perfectly fine, and would be for several more years, just because they're not in fashion any longer, new furniture (of generally poor quality) to replace that which doesn't need replacing, jewelry to make you sexier, cars to impress your friends and neighbors, and on and on and on....

Even worse, our throwaway lifestyle has now expanded to include relationships. The message seems to be: "So you say you don't like that dried up, old, opinionated, wrinkled windbag you're married to? No problem, either send 'em to the plastic surgeon (to fix 'em up) or divorce 'em (throw them away) and either way you'll GET YOURSELF A NEW ONE!!!" The obvious conclusion being that we don't FIX anything. We just tear things down and rebuild. Or, better yet, throw away and reacquire. Uh, how about building something, anything right the first time? How about working hard to build, or to move toward building, a solid, healthy relationship with your significant other? How about spending QUALITY TIME with those you care about to foster healthy relationships? What the hell is so goddamn important about that fucking job anyway? Oh yeah, you're enslaved to it because you have to make the minimums on your credit card payments (probably 6-7), your house payment, your 2-3 car payments, motorcycle payments, boat payments, watercraft payments, department store payments, furniture store payments, etc. Not to mention regular bills like gas, electricity, food, etc. Sorry, I forgot about those...

One of the best lines in Affluenza came from the authors when they said, "It's as though we've forgotten what an economy (you could put here job) is for anyway." And it's true. A job should be to provide, first and foremost, a means of survival. Food, clothing, shelter. Then a sense of personal satisfaction in a job well done. For me at least, it's not, and shouldn't be, a reflection of who I am or my value as a human being. It's not an end in and of itself. Rather than just going through the motions and getting caught up in this endless consumer spending competition that's unwinnable at its core, unhealthy in the extreme, and ultimately deadly to ourselves and the environment, we need to start focusing on asking the question, "WHY?" The simplest and yet most important question of all. Why? Why do you need these things? Why do you go to work day after day after day and toil hour after hour after hour. Is it really to just go to the mall and spend money? Why do we shop (i.e. just go out to spend money or plastic money anyway) as a cure for our perceived boredom? What ultimate awe inspiring goal is it that most of us are working toward when we head to the office? I'd say that hardly anyone asks this question because they're afraid of the true, sad answer, "There is no real good reason. I just work to pay my bills."

America: The Culture of Dissatisfaction

I came up with the phrase "Culture of Dissatisfaction" to describe modern day America after assimilating all of this information. We live in a society where we're NEVER, EVER allowed to be satisfied. You're never allowed to sit at the top of whatever mountain or molehill you've scaled, look around you, take in big breath of (hopefully) fresh air, and say, "Damn, this feels great!!! I feel good with where I'm at!" Nope, the first question to the victors of any sporting event championship is, "That's great, do you think you can do it again next year?" or to the losers, "Well you were 2nd best, which is the first loser, so what can you do to reach the top next season?" Sports are just an easy, convenient example, but it pervades every aspect of our lives here in the grand ol' US of A. You're a junior sales executive, you need to be executive; you're vice president, you need to be president; you drive an older, solid automobile that's in very good condition and gives you absolutely no trouble at all (better yet, it's PAID FOR!!!) and you absolutely MUST get rid of that old junker and "relentlessly pursue a lease payment of $599, with a first payment of $4,250, plus security deposit, acquisition fee, etc. for the next 59 months..."; you live in a nice, modest 2 or 3 bedroom home in an older neighborhood, but you without question NEED to be in a 5 bedroom, 3 bath monstrosity in the "chic" part of town; you have a nice, attractive person you live or spend time with, but you NEED someone better, a "supermodel" so you can "appear" to have it all... And that's really the problem, it's all fake, it's all appearances, it's all smoke and mirrors designed to make us feel insecure, inferior, inadequate, an illusion created by those who market and sell goods and services, to provoke us to FEEL WE NEED, that's right, we "need" to go out and spend our hard earned money in order to make us FEEL BETTER and APPEAR BETTER than we really are, when in truth we're all fine just as we are. Worse yet, you're pushed to FINANCE this lifestyle through credit (maxed out credit cards, 2nd and 3rd mortgages, auto loans for more than the value of the car, etc.), which in turn enslaves you to work you hate in order to just pay the minimum payments on all this crap that you just had to have, but in truth NEVER REALLY NEEDED!!! (emphasis mine).

A related issue is the "family" issue. I remember one time being interviewed by a managing director for one of the Asian branches of Lehman Brothers, where there was a really nice job opening and for which I was the top candidate. After the interview I asked my boss, "Why was Mr. X so fascinated with my personal life. He must've asked me 4 times, "Are you going to marry your girlfriend? What about kids? Planning on those soon?" He told me, "Don't ever tell anyone I told you this, but the reason is an issue of control. If you have a family, a wife, kids, etc. They know that you NEED your job and therefore they can demand more of you by using your family as leverage to get you to do what they want you to do. It's that simple." I was fucking stunned, speechless, jaw agape!! I had no idea that could have even been a possibility. Nice system we've got going on here folks, real nice.

Deep breath...okay...continuing on...

I always used to say, "Damn, if I just was rich, I could do any damn thing I wanted." But I've learned that the reverse can also be true because now I think, "If I have no debt, I can do any damn thing I want." No debt equals nothing handcuffing me to a job I hate. It leaves me free to do almost anything. And freedom, real freedom, is very, very, very important to me.

As an aside here, you really should read this page: Customer Reviews of Affluenza at amazon.com, they're great, and not too surprisingly, there's a lot of people out there who feel like I felt, now if we can just get us all together to do something about it!

So, after reading that book, and being fairly well sickened on top of being already being sickened, Chris realized he needed to, if nothing else, streamline his life and "stop the insanity" of product acquisition. Problem was he also nearing the end of a very wicked divorce with the ultimate consumer of stupid shit, his ex-wife. He was just moving back into his house, after she'd moved out with most of the stupid shit they'd acquired during their time together. But one of the things he was getting back was a very nice, first or second generation big screen TV, a Pioneer Elite something or other. Great picture, plus he had a really nice home theater setup with great speakers and a newly acquired receiver for the digital signal output.

To reacquaint himself with his fantastic television, he and Melissa had gone to Nebraska Furniture Mart and purchased "theater seats", reclining seats, with drink holders, a small table thing between them, very nice. Problem was the 30 day return window for the theater seats was damn near ready to close, only a day or two remained to decide, and Chris was now in a quandary as to what to do about the seats. In a way, he wanted to keep them since he JUST was getting back into the house and really looking forward to enjoying his home theater setup, but at the same time he felt if he kept the chairs he'd just be continuing the never ending cycle of buy shit, buy shit, buy shit. I remember telling him, "Look dude, do what you want, but if you return those seats, Melissa's gonna freak! And I'm not going to be responsible for that. That being said, if you're going to do it at all, and get back your $1,125 or so, you'd better make up your mind sooner rather than later."

He returned them, rather called NFM and had the seats picked up, and yes, Melissa freaked.
The short version of "the rest of the story" is that I participated in a lot of garage sales to rid myself of unneeded material possession baggage, purchased a motorcycle and other traveling gear, got my vaccinations and other medical stuff taken care of, and set out on this journey last November to see the world before it all becomes a strip mall of neon lights, fast food joints, department stores, and tanning salons.